Good Night Little One
My MFA experience has been overcast by a shadow of grief. This has been the basis of my art making and much of my research. After I got my Covid vaccination, I felt more comfortable leaving my apartment and going for long walks through Philadelphia’s City Center. It was during these outings outside of my home that I started noticing dead birds on the sidewalk. It wasn’t so often to be concerning, but often enough that I felt compelled to stop and photograph them. The most unique was the hummingbird I found while walking. It took me by surprise because I had never seen a hummingbird so still. It also felt like an otherworldly sign as they were my father’s favorite type of bird.
In a recent conversation, a friend encapsulated perfectly what the dead birds meant to me: “Once you’ve truly seen and felt death, you can’t not be open to seeing it everywhere.” This is true of not only what we see but how we relate to the things and people around us. It effects how I experience different complex human interactions: intimacy, touch, love, etc. My grief will never leave me. It will only evolve over time. My hope is that this work that I am continuing to make will be a documentation of that evolution as well as a narrative in which others can share.